Two Roads in a Writing Forest

Faced with two paths diverging in a writing forest right now. Both are long and hard work, but I cannot decide if I should walk down one before the other, or attempt both at the same time.
To my right is something emotional but cathartic, a memoir-based book about the story I've been trying to write since I was 12. It explains who I am, what I've done, and what I've come through to become the person you know today.
To my left is a fantasy based book (series?) that imagines our future in 1,000 years, and combines the political intrigue of Game of Thrones with a strong female lead (a la Kill Bill) with a sci-fi bent.
So ... the past or the future? Or both simultaneously?

Why Ew? And Other Notes on THE CLITORIS

"Yes, there is an on-line 'literary' magazine called (wait for it) 'Cliterature'. #fortheloveofgodkillme :( Ew!"

"Why ew?"

"I find the name distasteful."

"Why did you call our magazine "literary" with quotation marks? Does your distaste of the name question our quality?"

"Look, I didn't even tweet it to you, and in light of what happened today, what does it matter. Everyone has a right to their opinion." [Editor's Note: This conversation happened to occur on the day of the Boston Marathon bombing.]

"Just trying to learn more about your opinion, that's all."

"Sigh. It's just that 'clit' has been used in such a demeaning way. That's what bothered me, and from reading more about your magazine, it doesn't sound like it's pornographic at all."

"Thanks for sharing more. We do appreciate it."

Two months later, this Twitter conversation is still on my mind, for many reasons.
1. Clitoris is the scientific, medical term for a part of women's anatomy. No one expresses disgust or accuses anyone of being distasteful when words like penis, scrotum, or testicles.
2. Because of the name, and therefore the subject of Cliterature, someone passed judgement on the quality of a literary magazine without bothering to check out the website first. Once that did happen, it was admitted that it didn't "sound like pornography at all."

For the record, the clitoris contains over 8,000 nerve fibers (twice found on the head of a penis) and is the only body part (male or female) purely intended for pleasure. As Eve Ensler pointed out, "Who needs a handgun when you have a semi-automatic?"

So where, among the natural pleasure and power of the clitoris, does this "ew" belong? I am left to conclude: nowhere.

It was because of this conversation that I decided the theme of Cliterature's 29th volume would be THE CLITORIS. Let us reclaim the word and the body part and expunge the "ew" from the discourse.

WOMEN AND GIRLS -- And Why It Matters

Few things get under my skin quite as deeply as language does. As a writer, it is always my mission to cut right to the heart of a matter with as few words as possible. Semantics get dismissed these days, but I've always believed that language betrays the true nature of a culture. Which is why when I see an adult woman being referred to as a "girl,"it bugs the crap out of me. Women are mature, capable adults able to make their own decisions. Girls are children, put simply, and to attribute this label to grown adults is insulting.

Think I'm making too much of a word choice? If an adult male is referred to as "boy," he is quick to make the correction to "I'm a man." Adult females do not hasten to make the distinction. It's worth pointing out that adult black men were referred to as "boys" in some U.S. states until well into adulthood and maturity; the connotation was that a black man will never be as mature or capable as a white man.

I find it telling that HBO's hit series, "Girls," find their biggest demographic draw among the middle-aged male audience. These twenty-somethings are flailing to find themselves in a post-recession world -- but so what? Why not tell a story of twenty-something women who are thriving in the same world? Lena Dunham may be the voice of a generation ... but not mine, sister. Some women of our generation work two or three jobs in order to pay bills, become independent from parents, and fulfill their dreams.

And maybe that's the point. Women are a threat because they get shit done. Girls are not a threat because they are immature children.

Let us explore the women and girls of the world in Cliterature's summer 2013 edition, WOMEN & GIRLS. To learn how to send in your submission, check out our website.

Notes on VIOLENCE, Or, The Hardest Blog Post I've Ever Written

As the editor of Cliterature, it is my responsibility to choose each theme for new issues as a way to focus the conversation surrounding women's sexuality. Some themes take me months, even years, to articulate in my own mind. Others come to me in a moment's notice. The latter was how VIOLENCE, our spring 2013 issue, was conceived. I could not help but notice the increase in statistics of violence against women. I also could not avoid the reports of the now infamous Delhi gang rape and the ensuing protests.

Sometimes when you are in an abusive situation, survival instincts kick in. There's the fight or flight response, but there's also the body's tendency to freeze. This freezing can have unintended and awful consequences; the proverbial deer in headlights is not unwilling but unable to move out of the way of the speeding car. At least, that was how I felt when my ex-boyfriend was abusing me.

It took me a long, long time to recognize and acknowledge the abuse. Our relationship had been marked by a series of breakups and reunions, and our last breakup came on a day in May when something deep inside me rose up and screamed "NO." And if not for one small thing, we might have been reunited once more and started the cycle all over again. That small thing is something most people take great pains to avoid: jury duty.

I was called. I went to the justice center. I was picked for a trial. And it was a domestic abuse case. Sitting in the jury box and listening to the testimony, I became increasingly uncomfortable with how closely these two strangers relationship mirrored my own. And in the end, I realized that we (the defendant, the victim, me, my ex) were all on the same path; my ex and I were just a mile or two behind these strangers.

VIOLENCE is much more than the slap of skin and muscle upon another's body. It is the malevolent, malicious, and intentional disruption of someone's emotional, mental, and psychological well-being. These can all escalate into physical abuse, and I consider myself incredibly lucky that our relationship never went to that level while it lasted. But it doesn't change the fear I felt when he would intentionally scare me (only so he could pull me close and comfort me) or the shame I felt as the man in my life put me down, degraded me, controlled me, and eroded my self-worth.

Healing only begins after we bring the hurt into the light. Let us explore VIOLENCE and women's sexuality in the light so that our wounds may begin to close.